i know theyre mad cuz theyre coping.
i shouldn’t be blamed for ‘stealing’ anybody
i didnt.
i already specifically said i was gonna find my own place
he did as well over the phone
i dont like the stares :[
i feel cornered in my own place.
i didnt sign any binding contracts
why am i being blamed as the homewrecker.
you guys all know i tried super hard to make it to work.
i was the one of the few who were always actively searching for places and making the appointments.
if it didnt work out, obviously it wasnt meant to be.
we 3 had the most simple circumstances, which is what any normal student would want: a room for a reasonable budget.
it was hard to make anymore adjustments.
when i explained my sadness on the message. your only reactions were to get mad at me and interrogate me.
why interrogate me when ive explained everything over and over again.
and now some are mad.
i know you guys cancelled so many ‘next step in life’ plans to stay in davis.
i already feel like shit. im a bad person. looks like i ruined everything.
some mentioned that they were flexible. it didnt seem that way. it seemed like the newer living preference was dead-set. it wouldve taken some convincing to ask for a change of other types of living for a higher price. ive been negotiating things since february, i wasnt gonna try to alter anymore group plans. i needed to go.
i had no other fancy requests. i dont think this is selfish. i tried everything.
but still currently, i feel used. i just feel used. super used.
i feel used cause you need me to fulfill a preferred way of living that you wouldnt have been able to do otherwise. if i waited out with you guys, there will be no more ideal place within my budget. we’ll just find another 2nd-par house again not within anyone’s agreeable budget, and we’ll have to fight over rent again. cant do that anymore. i needed to go.
i feel used cause it costs money to share stuff that i need to replace because people dont care for it.
i feel used cause i dont turn on the ac cause i cant afford to pay more, but people who arent on the lease do.
i feel used cause my financial source only has 2000 in her savings. it may look like i own a lot of stuff, but im in huge debt. so this is too much pressure.
my lease is .25 miles from campus. and i’ll be paying less than what i pay now. if i didnt snatch that up, i’d probably regret it forever. :/ i enjoy your company. i still want to be around you guys. but relying on me to fulfill your budget, and getting disappointed that i cant help you (even after already telling you guys in tears) makes me really sad. i dont want to lose friendships.
im broke. my parents are unemployed, and financial aid denied my request for more funds. financial aid doesnt even cover all of my campus fees. i look strong cuz i am, but there is a breaking point. look at it from my perspective please. dont be angry.
